I’m feeling a little low on passion at this moment. Excitement and joy are there, but they are shyly peeking out at me from behind a wall of "obligation." I've been piling on the work. My dear friend just emailed me-- "hey! My chubby baby is 3 months old and you haven't met him yet!" Crap! I want to squeeze those fatty newborn cheeks already. He'll only be 3 months old for about one more second. So what's getting in the way of me taking some time out to hang with my friend and her new baby? What's getting in the way of me feeling zesty and zippy about life? Well the thing is that I'm busy.
That's code for me saying that I'm getting in my own way. (And for the record, I'm saying this with so much self-love, tenderness and understanding of course!)
I've got real-world grown-up things that are keeping me busy. And they are definitively exciting. I’m working on a book (more on that soon). And I have a fantastic offering in development that will be released in July. But, I'm working at a pretty athletic clip of production, and basically, I haven’t been filling up my cup.
In fact, I’ve been dumping my cup out on the ground and then trying to clean up the mess and then getting distracted, and then nearly passing out with exhaustion before thinking to myself, “I better just come back to this tomorrow.”
When I take a minute to think about all the cool stuff I'm doing and CELEBRATE, I feel excited. But the problem is that I'm not taking a minute. I'm just pushing along.
So what should I do to get myself back up on the passion horse and ride? And why is passion important?
Well if I was my own client here’s what I would say…
Passion is the fire of life.
When you are passionate, you are engaged, excited, inspired, and alive.
Your senses are heightened. It’s fun. Passion brings meaning and significance to your life. When you are living passionately you are inspiring others to do the same. Life gets bigger, bolder and technicolor.
Too little passion and you are depressed, listless, bored. Too much passion and you are burnt-out. Striking a balance requires that you pay attention.
Passion = Fire.
Have you ever built a fire? During the summer before college I got a job as a girl scout camp counselor. Every evening, the campers would search for wood so that we counselors could build a fire. The key to getting a troop of homesick 8 year olds to excavate the forest floor at the end of a long day was a clear and simple instruction. Find 3 kinds of wood: tinder, kindling and fuel.
Tinder is the tiniest of twigs, dry pine needles and brush. Kindling is the small twigs and sticks. And the fuel is the medium and large sticks and logs.
What makes up your tinder, kindling and fuel on your passionate fire-building adventure?
The first thing that goes out the window when we get busy is time for ourselves. This is something we have all heard so often that it’s almost hard to hear. I can feel my ears close inside of my head, even as I write this. (Maybe there’s a little resistance to notice here? ;)
But yeah, time is so important. Time is your tinder bed. Gather small or large moments of time and nestle into them. If you are an introvert, spend this time alone. If you’re an extrovert, spend it with friends or a partner.
Use this time to restore your energy.
When the tinder is smoking and flickering with tiny flames… it’s time to add the kindling.
Noticing what feels good. Being sensual. My girl Dana Balicki has a great post about what it means to be sensual. Sensuality can mean sexy time, or it can mean being aware of your senses. The first definition is apropos for creating passion, bien sûr. But let’s focus on awareness of your senses for now.
Is your neck stiff and are you crunched over your keyboard, or have you made time for bridge pose today?
Are you listening to the birds sing their springtime songs, or are you racing along to meet the deadline, brow furrowed?
Settle in to your tinder bed of time and be wildly present. Notice when you are hungry and thirsty. Get your sleep, kitten. Being present in your body is the anti-dote to stress. There is always something noteworthy to pay attention to in your surroundings. Noticing your environment, and your bodily sensations keeps you rooted, grounded and present. Notice the meandering line of a crack in the sidewalk. The way the light gleams on the formica table at the laundromat. The feeling of soft cotton. The taste of crusty bread.
This kind of awareness is an almost meditative practice. It’s about being present, and it helps you notice how you feel. It’s the kindling that get’s the heat hot enough to take on some hearty fuel…
Fuel: The truth
Blazing honesty is the firewood that will create the passion. Be honest with yourself. What is in alignment? What do you like? What do you dislike? It’s not always easy to see, which is why the tinder and the kindling are so important. Taking time and being present allow you to know truthfully what is right for you.
Why does knowing your truth build passion? Because when you know what you believe, you have the ability to say YES to it. When you say YES to something whole-heartedly, your passion, energy, motivation, attention and desire can all flow toward that YES.
And by the same token, when you know what you don’t want, you can say NO to that. Saying NO to what you don’t want will leave more energy for the YES.
Now, you don’t need to put pressure on yourself to always have the big logs blazing on the fire. We can’t always know what we believe. Life is an arc of discovery. Our YESes and NOs can change. Passion can ebb and flow. But we can always be gathering the tinder and the kindling. If a homesick 8 year old can find earthworm covered kindling in the dark, you can too. With your tinder and kindling alight, you’ll soon have a blazing fire of passion that can light your way forward.
P.S. I’m always hoping to bring you the best tools for a joyful life, so I created a free downloadable PDF that can help you get the fuel burning. Think of it as a Passion Bonfire Daily Planner. >>>>>
#AstroTip, if you are low on the element Fire in your chart, this list is especially good for you!
P.P.S. I’ll be on FaceBook Live talking more about this topic at 5pm ET today!
P.P.P.S. I’m starting a private FaceBook group tomorrow for astro-hypo coaching and community. Stay tuned!